Guilt is one of the most common feelings women experience. Even more prevalent in mothers, why is it that we deal with so much guilt?
Mum guilt can be a powerful emotion which creeps up on us daily. It is a feeling of stress and anxiety or even uncertainty; the kind that we experience when worry takes over due to a sense of falling short of expectations. The variables that bring on this guilt are numerous and affect us all in a unique way.
Even though parental guilt has been around for decades, social media has contributed enormously to this issue. There is this misconception that the perfect parent exists, making women compare themselves to others which instils this feeling of not being good enough.
From the minute you give birth you are basically doing anything to get through the sleep deprivation… eating whatever you can, when you can to survive the day. Yet you then open social media and cannot help but compare yourself to those women who keep appearing on your screen and seem to have it all figured out and under control – the perfect life, the incredible body (how do they lose weight so fast??).
Then there’s the 101 decisions every mother has to make and the stress that comes with them – the guilt of not being able to breast feed, the guilt of returning to work, missing out on major milestones and school activities. Even for those mothers who choose to stay home with their child there is sometimes a sense of guilt in not being able to contribute to the financial burden of running a household and supporting a family.
Guilt that you may not be as fun as the other ‘Pinterest Mums’ or that you don’t have the time or energy to get your child to eat an immaculate, varied diet ….
The list is endless! Very often women also carry the mental load of organising an entire family’s schedule which just adds to the pressure of it all.
To manage all of this, many mothers will continue to give and give leaving them with no time to dedicate to themselves. When this happens, we become irritable and may snap at our children and later feel even more guilty for doing so… it is a vicious circle!
Not finding time to take a break to relax, unwind and recharge can have detrimental effects on our overall physical and mental wellbeing. In order to be the best mothers we can be, we need to learn to break the cycle and start to put ourselves first. Prioritising our own self-care can only have a beneficial impact not just on ourselves, but on everyone around us. When we give ourselves a chance to regenerate, we can return to our families happier, more confident in our abilities and more relaxed. Caring for yourself as an individual is not an act of selfishness. It is a necessity which will recharge your batteries and in turn make you a calmer, more patient parent – Put your OWN Oxygen mask on first.
We all know that children model our behaviour and learn by what they see and not what they hear. Prioritising yourself and showing them that it is important to put yourself first is probably one of the most important life skills we can teach them. So why do we continue to put ourselves last?
At Sanya we have the tools to help you deal with stress and anxiety. If you recognise mum guilt, get in touch with us to see how we can help support you. We have specifically designed a VIP membership scheme to help you prioritise your self-care. Think of it as a concierge service for your personal wellbeing. All you have to do is sign up and we will ensure that your monthly sessions are fit into YOUR routine and actually take place. Leaving you with no excuse to make time for yourself – You deserve to be taken care of. Click here for more information on our VIP membership scheme.
Remember – You can’t pour from an empty cup.